Moving fast isn't automatically a problem. The problem is the specific kind of fast where momentum is doing the deciding and nobody's stopped to check.
High-functioning codependency doesn't look like neediness. It looks like being extremely capable, endlessly reliable, and quietly exhausted in a way you can't explain.
The couples who stay warm with each other for decades are almost never doing anything dramatic. They're doing nine small things, over and over, until those things become the weather of the relationship.